Sunday, 20 March 2022

Moon or the Mirror!

Moon...what all does it mean to different people? For fact its the earth's only, natural satellite, but then the moon is the source of light in the night, but then calendars are made and festivals are celebrated around different phases of moon and then there are poems written for the moon, and some find there lovers in the moon. 

But there's no denying the beauty of the moon. Milky white, at times sparkling like the most precious stone ever, then there's the crescent moon and there are legends and myths around the crescent of the moon. There's red moon, supermoon, yellow moon, lately there was a blue moon too (some different types of once in a long time sightings). Moon, deriving its light from the sun, yet when it shines you cannot ignore it. 

When the night is approaching and you see a crescent or during the cloudy nights when the moon is peeking from behind the clouds, or in the dark, chilly wintery nights when you see a glimmer in the sky isn't it pleasant! 

Since I was a kid I had a special likeness towards the moon. It has always been mystical to me. While sleeping in the veranda of my nani's house under the moonlit sky, I used to just soak into the moonlight for hours and hours. We had our silent conversations, and my childish mind would find a smiling face in moon at times. It wouldn't be exaggerating when I say, that moon has been my companion since, forever. When I grew up a little, in my teenage years, I could relate all the love songs to the moon and romance meant just listening to those songs. There was heartbreak but then moon was my constant and there were other songs to relate to the moon.

When I moved to a new city, everything was a cultural shock. Being the guarded, Alice in wonderland that I was and still am, I just couldn't find anything relatable. It was a feeling of being lost, confused state and I just wanted to come back home. One night, I went to the terrace of my building, it was a quite night in Worli. The palm like trees were humming there sweet song. It was a night after a rainfall. Everything looked crystal clear and I could listen to the hustle bustle of the city and the quite waves of the sea at once. I sat and then looked up and there it was - The moon. My bestfriend. It smiled at me and I smiled back at it and suddenly all confusions, all fear, all worry of being at a new place were gone. The moon was the same, the wind blew the same and it felt like home. 

Then there were days when it felt like there won't be another day, but then the night came and If I could see a glimmer of moon, I knew I can hold on. 

At times, I could see my emotions in the moon. My sadness reflected, my happiness radiated, my anger retributed, my calm reciprocated through the moon. 

And then on nights when there was lack of hope, I could imbibe it from the moon. The energy would transfer and I fly, I fly with the moon, towards the moon. You could call me a selenophile, but I think that word doesn't do justice to my bond with the moon. 

Its always been a mirror to me. My me, myself and I is related to the moon.

Sometimes in the face of a lover, sometimes a friend, sometimes a secret-keeper, and sometimes just her being is suffice. Yeah, of course, moon is a girl for me. It's the part of me floating in the sky with the high and mighty. 

So you know, whatever be, be it, if I could see the moon in face of any situation, I will know its going to be fine and there's going to be a beautiful tomorrow and today! 

Friday, 4 March 2022

An ode to the Unrequited Love

I was happy...well not happy per se, but I was going on with my life. Taking each day as it came. Going with the flow. Like the wind flew and took me with it and I happily consented to it. Like the rain fell and drenched me in it, I knowingly allowed it to. Like the winter came and I felt the chills. And then the summer and all was sunny. I made it, day by day, task by task I was going about not thinking about love, at all, not at all, not anymore, it wasn't my first thought of the day nor the last before I slept. 
I was, indeed, living, breathing an ordinary existence. An existence so ordinary that it went by unnoticed, it slid through. No highs, no lows but a general existence. But as it is, the heart beats, and when you do a check-up there are highs and lows on the graph which informs one of being alive. So how could I go without any lows or highs! 

Love - the feeling that I was avoiding, stung me, stronger than a bee, like an alarm without an off button, like a train left the station, it was already too late when I realized that I was in love. 

Oh to be in love and be loved...would be a superlative feeling! Isn't it! Alas, how would I know! Cause my love was never returned. Yes I loved, and everything was rosy...pink...red...yellow...all colors...I smiled with the thought of the one. it might feel weird to you, the reader, but it is an absolute, greatest of feelings to be in one - sided love. Yes...the unrequited feelings...from one person for the other person without the other person knowing about the one person's feelings.

It is freeing, it is bliss, although unreturned but those feelings all yours. For oneself. You smile with the thought of that person, their voice rings bells in your ears, the sight of them makes the world seem a little less worn out. 

Yet, they remain unaware that someone feels so much for them. 

Oh, unrequited love, you are a blessing in disguise, because I know you are all mine and never to be taken away. Unreturned but uninfluenced, there is no requirement for any filter. It is beauty of the best kind.

Yeah, it is sad at times that you cannot share the feelings with the one you have them for but just seeing them happy, makes your heart happy. Isn't it selfish and selfless all at once.

That is what is - unrequited love. 

So this is my love letter to the unrequited love. Maybe you are incomplete, but maybe your being incomplete makes it complete for me. 

- A hopeless hopeful