The Phonecall

"I love you", said the voice from the other side of the phone.

She looked at the clock on the wall. It was way past midnight, a little after two. It took her a minute to be fully awake, but once she was, she was still confused. She looked at her phone to recognize the number, but she couldn't.

"I am sorry, but who is this?", She questioned.

"Now you don't even recognize my voice", said the voice from the other end.

"I don't have your number saved and it's was past my awake time, so if you would please tell me.......oh, am I hearing correct, is it you?", Still blurry but surprised she asked.

"Yes it is me. I am sorry for wasting so much time in figuring out but I really love you and want you in my life forever.", The voice said.

"Ummm...would you hold on a second", now she was sitting straight up, she switched on the light and drank a glass of water. Her heart was still racing like a maniac. She couldn't believe it was actually him on the other side. She had always imagined this moment and all the things that she would say if it ever happened but now it seemed like there were no words coming out of her mouth. She got up the bed and started pacing up and down. She was confused, happy, angry, sad , a plethora of emotions. 

"Are you still there??? Hello...hello..." , he said from the other side of phone. It wasn't easy for him to make this call. He has fighting with his emotions for a long time now. He tried to control his feelings for her, but as it is nobody can control such strong feelings. He even changed his number so she wouldn't call him. He was scared, confused, happy, a plethora of emotions, to call her. But tonight he gathered all his strength and dialed her number. And then she received the call.

"Yes I am here", hurriedly she picked up the phone. He could still here her fast breathing through the phone. It was clear that he has stirred up a sleeping volcano...a tornado in her.

"I didn't expect a call from you", she tried being normal, "and never in a million years at this time of the night."

"I just felt like hearing your voice. It has been ages since we talked and I couldn't forgive myself for letting you go like that. It was foolish of me. I think I was not mature enough or maybe I was just denying my feelings for you. But now I have realized and been gathering courage to call you for days but couldn't. So I did it just like that...", he was saying.

"Why did you change your number?", She interrupted 

"Uh...yes I changed my number. I am sorry. But I didn't know any better. I was not ready to deal with all that you were saying...", he tried to justify.

"I said 'i love you' and you found no better way to deal with it then to change your number? And you also went MIA.", she asked.

"Uh...yeah...I mean I wasn't sure of my feelings for you or even knew if I had any feelings for you...and.... uh....you know me I do things in a blink of an eye without realizing the consequences but now I know and I am sure of what I want. It's you who I want. It's you.", he said.

"You changed your number and nobody knew where you are. Then you suddenly call me after an year and now you are sure of your feelings. What about my feelings and the way you left everything unanswered?", She asked.

"I am really sorry but I can't change the way I am. You always said so too. I can't undo the past as well. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and acceptance. I promise I will make it worth", he tried explaining.

"Do you have any idea what I have been going through for the last year. Everyday I wake questioning my choice of loving you and every night I close my eyes cursing the moment I met you. It's been living hell for me. You made me doubt my being. My existence. Can you give me back my year? Can you take away the pain? No. I know. But that's the way you are and even I said that so you can't change it.", She said.

"I know I was bad. But it's only human to err and I will mend my ways and be better", he tried to convince.

"It's all about you, isn't it? What you did, how you will change it. Let me tell you, the world doesn't revolve around you. I think I needed you to call me to make me realise I am better without you. For all this time I was blaming myself for losing you but never realized it was you who lost me. It was stupid of me to question myself when it was who was unsure.", She said.

"You are twisting my words. You think I was in heaven if you were in hell. Even I had to fight this dilemma of either being with you or not. Now I want to be with you. Isn't it what you always wanted?", he asked her.

"Congratulations for understanding what I always wanted. But you took so long to realize. It was your choice to change your number and leave me hanging in abyss. And of course you had this dilemma. But you see I was always sure of you. That it is you I want. But then you left me and although it was hard I realized there is a life for me beyond you. Things I want to do. People who want me with them without any dilemma. And it was riveting to know it. And without twisting my words I would like to say thank you for coming in my life and making me realize that I deserve better. And yes you deserve better than me too. Someone you are sure of from first moment. But I don't think that's gonna Happen cause that's just not you. Have a good life. Goodbye.", she cut the call, her heart was still racing fast but she could feel a weight lifting off her chest. She felt light. In a long time, she felt like herself again.  A smile came across her lips. She took a deep breath, switched off the light, lay in her bed and slept.

He was still in shock. He couldn't realize what he has just heard. His mind couldn't comprehend that she would do this to him. But he knew her better it was no use calling her now. She had made up her mind. He felt a sting. 

He picked up his phone and deleted her number. He knew it was over for good. 

He lay in his bed, switched off the side table lamp and tried to go to sleep.