Soul Connection

'Lockdown. Ugh...can't go out...can't meet friends...no DATES!!!', she thought to herself.  

An extrovert, outgoing person, the news of lockdown was a hard one for her to accept. On top of that, she had been planning for a trip, to the mountains. Her itinerary was all prepared, bag all stuffed and thinking ahead as she always does, she was already on the trip. 

She was angry, 'Why does this have to happen with me???  Why can't you support my plans, God? Why do you test my patience all the time!!!!!!!!'. 

She was irritated, agitated and most of all alone. Her roommate has gone home for the festivities and her not being on good terms with her family at the moment decided to skip going home. This was good for her too as she had wanted to spend time alone for the looooooooongest time and figure out things that have been sort of troublesome. She had been talking to a guy for some time and was looking forward to the date they decided to have on the coming Saturday. Alas, the lockdown! She is locked inside her house now and his area has become a containment zone. She felt like punching the wall, again and again, but then she realized it would hurt her hand only, so she contained her anger. It was taking a toll on her, all of it. 'I should've gone home, it couldn't have been worse than this, at least I would get cooked meal.' 

Pacing up and down on her balcony, she was thinking, forming a blueprint of how to deal with the whole thing, when suddenly a buzzing sound pulled her to the reality. She looked at her phone on the bed, the screen was lit up and someone was calling. 

She jumped towards her phone, 'Hi, Papa, I.....', 

'Why wouldn't you receive your phone, I have been calling you continuously for half an hour. You got me worried. Was your phone again on mute?', her father asked her, worriedly and sternly.

'Let me speak na, Papa, it wasn't on mute Papa. I...I was in....in the other room.', she tried to reason.

But how could she reason with her father. He knew her each move way better than she knew, and so he had already figured out that the news of lockdown would be hard on her and he also knew she doesn't like living alone for a long time. 

'Ok, I understand but try keeping your phone with you. Anyway, how are you doing? Has your roommate come yet?', her father inquired.

'She was planning to Papa, but now she won't come anytime soon because of the lockdown. Her parents are worried and she has also got work-from-home so I doubt if she'll even come back at all. I am doing good, was eating,...um...noodles Papa'. she said as not to worry her father.

'Yeah, that's understandable. Accha, listen, one of my colleagues is coming here by his own vehicle and he has got pass sanctioned for two, come home with him. We all are missing you and I am very worried about you.', her father said.

'Papa, I am doing good. You don't need to worry. I can't come.', she said.

'You can't or you don't want to? Do this for me. Come home and we will talk and spend time together, cook, watch movies. It's a blessing in disguise this lockdown. Come on, we can't function very well if you are there.', reasoned her father.

'But, Papa, please. Don't force it. It's good for everyone that I am here. Last time, my anger outburst...it wasn't good. I am working on it and I will come as soon as I sort things out, I promise.', she tried to convince him.

'Come home, we will sort out everything together, I promise. Alright, I don't want to argue with you anymore. Now pack all your essentials and he will pick you up in an hour. Wear a mask, carry sanitizer with you, okay?', trying to persuade her, the father said.

'Papa....", she thought of putting forth an argument, but she was missing her family too,'Okay, fine, I am coming.' She said.

Her father's colleague picked her up. It was an SUV. Big and comfy car. Her father's colleague didn't seem very talkative so after exchanging pleasantries and the random bit about the lockdown, he asked her to sit on the back seat in order to maintain social distancing. She felt so happy as small talk and the front seat is not her cup of tea. So she put on her headphones and curled up with a book on the back seat. She has bought this book 'Kafka on the Shore' by Haruki Murakami a long time back and this was finally her chance to read it in one go without any disturbance or breaks. As soon as the car started moving, she opened the book and it wasn't even ten minutes when she fell asleep.

'Here you are.', smiling at her, her father was at the door of the car. She didn't realize for a moment but she had slept all the way, all seven hours. 

'Hi, Papa', she hugged her father as tightly as she could.

It was a good day, the day she reached her home, The trees in her garden were swinging fast and far with the wind, the sky seemed delighted with such a blue that she hadn't seen in a long time, there was a light drizzle which her mother informed her has been happening since two-three days. The greens of the trees some of which she had planted, made her very happy. The weather seemed to be welcoming her to her homeland. She took a deep breath and all she could feel was the freshness of the air, the petrichor, and the fog seemed to lift off her senses. 

'Ah!', she sighed with happiness when next afternoon she was sitting on her porch again with the same book that she had been trying to read for a long time. The wind was blowing swiftly, the drizzling happening, as usual, she couldn't contain but smile at everything. 

Her home was what she was longing for the longest time. Her home was where her soul felt at peace. Last night, she talked to her family about her anger outbursts and they understood her troubles. She was so thankful for the lockdown as it cleared a million things out of zillion things going on in her mind. Though it is a long way to go she was coming back to herself. She felt whole. 

This feeling was something she missed for a long time. The connection to her own self. The connection with her own senses. Her heart softened, she could feel a sense of relaxation when she touched the leaves, and when she walked barefoot on the wet, rain-soaked ground it felt like therapy to the soul. 

Her fears due to which she was avoiding coming home, diminished, and after some days, were gone altogether. It was a new her, someone she can be proud of, someone she has been wanting to be for a long time, someone she can look up to.

She realized, avoiding things doesn't do good, but facing them makes one understand the how, why, what, and this in turn help in healing. 

She was laughing again with her whole heart and spending time looking at the sky, the day sky, and the night sky. The twinkling stars seemed smiling at her and the glow of the moon glowed her. It was an amazing feeling.

She thought to herself what would she be like if she was still alone when a bustling wind caressed her face. The thought went away. It was a happy time for her family as they were all together in one place after a long, long time. There were anecdotes shared, the news discussed at times but mostly it was the togetherness helping her to gather herself.

She was thankful to her Papa for never giving up on her.

She was thankful to the lockdown for giving her the opportunity to once again explore, to once again be herself.