The Hope

He remembered the time when he wanted to meet her only during the nights. He remembered the way he was, he remembered the way she was. He remembered everything. A shiver ran down his spine remembering everything. He thought of how times have changed, he thought of how he has changed. A gentle smile appeared on his face and suddenly he felt fine. He was wearing a black shirt and pants, the way she always asked him to. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was proud that he could still pull this look. He was unsure if his hairs were looking fine. He combed them once, he combed them twice and again; he then used his fingers to set them. Yet he wasn't satisfied. He did them again. He looked at himself once again and sighed. He was excited and a little nervous. After all it had been ten years since he met her. It was time to leave when he looked at his watch. He took his car keys, looked at himself once again and hurriedly left. 

She was nervous. She met him during the nights, she remembered. She remembered the way she was, she remembered the way he was. She remembered everything. For a few moments she got overwhelmed with all the feelings. She thought of cancelling meeting him but it had been ten years. Ten long years, a decade without seeing his face. She took a deep breath and continued draping the blue saree. She isn't a pro at draping sarees so she took some help from her sister and social media. After an hour it was done. She paired it with a black blouse, blushed cheeks and a little black bindi. She thought of tying her hair in a bun but her hairs have mind of their own. So she left them untied. She kept looking at herself in the mirror. A little smile appeared on her face and she felt fine. Her phone rang up and her cab had arrived. She hurried to leave.

They both reached the place. He parked his car and started to walk towards the restaurant when he saw her getting out of the cab. He couldn't recognise her there for a moment as he had never seen her like this but then the sudden rush of feelings let him know that it was her. She looked at him from across the road. There was a tingling sensation in her stomach at that moment. She smiled, he smiled. She started walking towards him and he waited for her. They kept smiling at each other as they walked inside the restaurant together. 

As they walked towards an empty table none of them could speak a word. He pulled the chair for her and she was surprised. As she settled down, he sat on the chair across from her. They both looked at each other and could only smile. She had thought there would be tension but it felt like the most organic thing. Him. He broke the silence, 'So, thank you lockdown', and they both chuckled. 

'Yeah, thank you lockdown', she said.

He looked at her, her hairs brushing her shoulder, her kohl smeared eyes, the black bindi on her forehead, her lipstick clad lips. He had never seen her like this but then how would he as they only met during the nights. He couldn't look away from her kohl smeared eyes, they still had the twinkle that made her stand out always. There was a certain reassurance in them, although with experience there were some accompanying lines but that only made them more attractive. The eyes. 

'When did you get in town? And why didn't you contact me? Yahi dosti, yahi pyaar? Seems like you forgot me', she asked him.

'Nothing like that. It's just that since the lockdown everything has been so rough yaar. I thought of calling you many times, but....', he was saying,

'But what? Already forgot about me?', she interrupted.

He could just chuckle.

She looked at him. His black shirt with folded sleeves which always made her heart skip a beat, his face that has always calmed her chaotic mind. She kept looking at him as he ordered when the waiter came and just nodded in agreement as what to order. She looked at his lips when he talked, the way they moved, and her eyes danced. His lips. 

He looked at her up and down, as thorough as one can, and said, 'You don't look like you used to look anymore',

She replied, 'Maybe because you don't look at me the way you used to, anymore?'

'Oh please don't use your psychology on me. I know you are a therapist now but I meant it as a compliment. You look really different, a good different', he said.

'Oh, accha like that you mean. First compliment ever, so this is how it feels to be complimented by you. Huh, nice feeling', trying to hide her smile she said.

'You have changed quite a bit too. From a boy you've become a man. I mean you are handsome, self assured and are a little more intelligent than before that I can tell', said she.

'I have always been intelligent but thank you for noticing atleast', hiding his smile he said.

'I always notice stuff and tell you. Haven't I always done that?' she argued.

'Yeah sometimes a little more than asked for', he said trying to annoy her.

She could see in his eyes that he was trying to annoy her. He looked at her laughing and he felt something he hadn't felt in a longtime. A warmth. The time stood still. It didn't feel like it had been ten years and at the same time it felt like a century has gone by.

'You had my number all this time! I am really surprised. Why didn't you ever call me or text me?', she asked.

'So did you? I thought this time I will leave it on you, your decision, your discretion if you call me or not and you did. Although after all these years but you did. I am glad you did', he put his thoughts to words for the first time.

'You left it on my discretion for so long? You know me, I am stubborn. I wanted to but I thought maybe you wouldn't like hearing from me or wouldn't even recognize my number', she quipped.

'How can I forget the easiest number of the world', he told her.

'Yeah, I know. It is the easiest number, isn't it. Anyway how have you been? I can see you've made a good life for yourself and I am happy for you. How is the family?', she asked him.

'It took a little time but I found my footing. It hasn't been all that easy but not that tough. I mean, you know how it is. Family is good, parents settling in retirement life, brothers doing their thing. All in all it's been nice', he answered.

'See I always knew you had it in you but I don't know why you always doubted yourself. And tell me, how is the missus?', she asked.

'I haven't married', he said.

She felt a relief and her cheeks turned red. He saw it on her face, the relief and he felt relief too.

'What about you? Didn't find anyone suitable enough?', he asked.

'Ha, ha, yeah you can say that. Certain things never felt right with anyone. It is like somethings never fit and here I am', she answered.

He could see in her eyes she wanted to say much more but she resisted. She wanted him to say more but he resisted. 

It felt like there was only them in the moment, every sound was drowned away.

They could feel their eyes talking. Saying things that they never said. There was harmony, peace and it felt like they were exactly where they wanted to be. 

He thought of the reasons that made him stupid enough to meet her only during nights. Oh, the young and how they don't realize when they are wasting something precious. She thought why couldn't she ask him to meet her during the day and why couldn't she convince him. The fear of him not meeting at all. She just wanted to see him.

They kept talking to each other about the past ten years of their lives, sharing anecdotes, the struggles, the achievements, the experiences, about boyfriends/ girlfriends. They both realized nobody ever stuck around or they didn't let anyone stick around. They talked for hours.

'We never dated, right?', she said.

'Yeah, we never really got to that part', he agreed.

'You look really beautiful', he said.

'Ah, someone's with so many words today. You yourself clean up well, I must say', she said teasing him.

He nodded and laughed and she thought to herself how she has remembered that sound all throughout the ten years. If a stranger would hear it, it would feel like an awkward chuckle but to her ears it was pure music. His aura felt so safe. His being livened her. 

'Oh, I have to take a session in about an hour. We should leave.' hesitatingly she said.

'Ok. Don't call a cab, I will drop you', he said.

'No, no it's alright. I will call a cab', she argued.

'Let me do this. Come on, we have an hour. We can take a short drive and then reach your place.' he tried to reason.

She couldn't say no. Both of them got up and started walking towards his car. As she sat in, she saw the same hanging from his rearview mirror that she had gifted him long back on one of his birthday. It felt unreal.

'I can't believe you still have this. Long live the Thor', she couldn't contain her excitement.

'I mean you know how much I love Marvel superheroes and after all this was gifted by someone very dear to me. It was all I had of her for the past years.' he said.

'That's sweet', she said.

He started his car and took to the nearest exit to the highway. The road seemed limitless, it was evening and the sky was filled with pink, orange of the setting sun. She looked at his arms and how she wanted to be inside them. Her safe haven. A melody played on the car stereo. It was perfect. They didn't talk much during the ride. He kept looking at road while stealing a glances of her, then and now. She seemed calm and that reflected onto him too. She kept looking at the road too, playing with her hands at times and stealing glances of him, at times. He felt happy and that reflected onto her. The time couldn't move any faster. He took the road to her home.

'Here we are. This was great. I didn't knew I missed you so much.', she said.

'I agree. Let's meet again tomorrow if you are free. Now that I have met you during the day, I just can't think of the reasons why I didn't do it any sooner.', he confessed.

'Let it be. Things happen when they are meant to. Atleast we did meet, even after these many years. It's all about timing, isn't it.', reflecting, she said.

'Yeah you are right. Let's make up for the lost time. Let's do everything together that we didn't get to do. What say? Are you up for it?', he asked.

' I am up for everything. Sure let's meet tomorrow. I have to leave now.', she said. She looked at him, deeply. She didn't want to leave. She just wanted to stay with him in the moment. If she could she would freeze the time. As she was getting out of his car he pulled her towards himself and gave her the tightest hug. He could smell her hair, the sweet smell he inhaled. She hugged him back and took a whip of his cologne. She remembered it was the same cologne. As the embrace ended, they said goodbye. He saw her walking away. His heart ached a bit. How he wanted her to stay. She pushed her hair behind her ear and looked back. She saw him looking at her walking away. She turned around, smiled, waved and said, 'Call me when you reach'. He smiled and nodded in agreement.

He started his car. 

'I wish I told her all that I feel for her. Maybe tomorrow I will', he thought as he drived.

She got inside her home and sat on her favorite chair. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and thought to herself, 'I want him as I have always wanted him and I have him for now and somehow that's enough for the moment. There is something that he wants to say, there is something that I want to hear. Maybe he'll never say, maybe I'll never hear. Maybe someday he will say, maybe someday I will know. Someday. Maybe that someday will be tomorrow. That's the hope'.